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Could Abraham Lincoln fly?

You bet. During the Civil War, Lincoln used to conduct his own reconnaissance missions on the Confederates by simply twirling his coattails at tremendous speeds until he was airborne. He was quite a formidable opponent, as his favorite activity was scooping up country cows and dropping them on unsuspecting Confederate camps. These exercises had to be stopped, however, when Robert E. Lee threatened using his bottle rocket launcher to take down the president.

  1. melzipan reblogged this from ladyhistory
  2. but-therewasawordshaker-too said: Flying also came quite in handy when he had to take down those pesky vampires.
  3. ladyhistory posted this